Bali; You mean everything to me

It's 3:30PM and i just woke up, my sleeping and waking up times are pretty much all messed up. I'm already having a really hard time sleeping. I don't know if its a thing that i've developed in Singapore but i tend to think a lot. Not those thinking when you think about 'emotional' things but thinking as in 'I have to do something otherwise i'll feel like I'm wasting my time and feel bad at the end of the day therefore not sleeping' kind of thinking. I hate it. I can't concentrate when i want to relax, okay did that even make sense? But yeah. Praying even has been so hard for me, waking up simply at 7 to go for church is hard. God what's going on here? 

My exams and assessments are finally over. Well tomorrow I'll have to hand in one more, then I'm officially free. 

I met up with Yin and Mira yesterday at Bugis, believe me it was so good to see them. When i first saw them, they gave me endless hugs, I never got that many hugs (which wasn't more than 10) ever since i came to Singapore. I missed them so much, Mira was saying 'mel come back to JIS we miss you' and yeah, Yin was buying her tights and watching her just made me miss her the way she was all blurr and cute, haha you know Yin. But yeah, I can't wait to head down to Brunei and feel home again. 

As for now, i just wish things would get better, between friends, my relationship with God. I haven't cried in a while, and i don't think its a good thing. Because I used to be able to cry as in cry when something good happens to me, or just letting my feelings out, but now it seems like i've turned STONE COLD :( But i'm looking on the positive side that i'll: Cry (haha), repair my relationship with God and get along with friends again. I know for sure that it says in His word that we should wait on the Lord, even if it takes a long long long long long long long time, God's time is always perfect, and I'm holding on to that. :) 

Have a blessed day!

ps: Celle, I miss you loads, i haven't seen you online in a long time, but i know when i come back we'll catch yea! Hope all is good, I have a lot to tell you! :) 

Cello♥; tracing footprints

HELLO FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOP! Okay, i'm not on the mountain top. I'm just at home. BUT OKAY! LAME! Hahahaha anyways, I'm back! O's ended yesterday. Didn't feel much but i was a little relieved about everything. Now, the most pondered question ever for i think almost everyone who's done with exams..WHAT ON EARTH AM I GONNA DO?! Well i've got a few plans! :D

• Beach with 5CS class tomorrow! (but i'm not even sure if i'm able to make it! :S bummer)
• Out with Chelle, Ying and Rach on thursday afternoon.
• A.C.T.S.T.W.E.N.T.Y.N.I.N.E on friday!
• WEDDING on 22nd November!! yes mine. Nah its my cousin's! :D
• AND so many other plans that would probably blow up this whole laptop if i start firing them out because they're too hot to be revealed!! HAHAHA i'm insane. :)

But i'm definitely gonna help my mom with maintaining the house like a lot. It's something i have to get used to now! I WILL SURVIVE!

So far, i've been great! To all those who've been encouraging me to stay strong. BIG THANK YOU! I appreciate every single one of them. It's been improving except the part where it's not too easy moving around the place. I guess those who knows the story only will get what i mean. But i'm hanging on tightly to His promises. He's been my best friend and everything i have needed, am needing and will be needing. I'm slowly tracing back the familiar yet so unfamiliar footprints that's ahead. Even at this point, life can be so exciting. To know that a Saviour is holding my life in His hands. To know that no matter how far you go, grace will always come tracking you down and just wanting to give you so much more than we can ever ever imagine. God can put so much life in LIFE itself. He is greatly to be praised. FOREVER!

it's great. :)

by the cello♥

Bali; painted on my canvas cheeks

I never knew that my sister was such a good poet. I found out that she entered several contests and won a few, we only recieved the letter from www.poetry.com about a few months after she had passed away. I know her poems are 'emotional, depressing, etc...' but she has the talent to write good stuff! some how when i read her poems i feel like i know her even more, considering the fact that i wasn't close to her. 

For more of Rae's Poems click 'Here' :) miss you rae!

Anyway on a more reflective note (wah sound like what already) haha. Todays Mainstudy and Keyboard exam went alright! Although during Mainstudy, Tim asked me to sing keys that weren't in my range :( as in higher keys! So I had Bb harmonic minors, F# melodic minors. Note that i had to sing this without the piano okay! It was difficult, but did it with confidence and smiled alot :D Did pretty well overall! Keyboard was funnnnn, I played and sing 'Take me - Hawk Nelson" and he told me that I have to work on my left hand hohoho, and for sight-reading it was hilarious because I couldn't read notes as fast as grade 8 piano players, so taking my time, he said ' its okay, take it slowly, read it slowly '. I only managed to play 2 bars :( but its okay! Philip is one JOLLY keyboard teacher man, full of energy! loving it! 

I have yet to do Michael's Journals and revision on History of Performing arts (MCQ! but apparently a lot of the level 1's say that they are 'tricky' questions) then after that probably going to sleep or something! Tomorrows Choir exam! VALSE HERE I COME! 

hannay :) "suhsi sushi?"

(edit: i just watched the video and realized that blogger makes the quality of my macbook camera all icky -_-)

Good morning world! This refers to the post i blogged about staying in school to help friends finish their essays, was a really random video ' 4am what do you expect ' - Muzap hahaha

'the unknowing dance to the invisible tune.' - Rae :)

Bali; blisters on my heart

hello! 

There is probably one hundred and one things going on right now. Today's preview of Dante's Inferno production went alright, except for Jeremiah's bass amp turning off all of a sudden. Tomorrows Aural exam, and theatre production. I'm really tired lately, i think i've said that in most of my blogs, but you get what i mean right, its college, and it sure is tiring, stressful and pressurizing. I honestly have to say that i miss being able to talk to God for hours, now its just when i get home, i plan my time to study, do my work, then pray for 'awhile' only and i know so well that i should be making time. I know that this is going to blow over soon! That God is still here, watching me, with me.

I didn't get a chance to go to Nick Vujicic's Services, because of the whole theatre production thing, was really bummed out, but nevertheless I just gave the production all I had, the best. I'm thinking of lyrics to write but i can't seem to think right now. I guess you can say that I not feeling all that good :( but then God is Good all the time! and I'm really hanging onto the promises that He has made for me, the one that holds my future (the one i don't know where im heading to exactly, but he knows). I'm still going to praise Him, through this man, we're going to overcome this aite?! :) 

Readers: please pray for exams coming up! This week and next! :) thank you. 

I have thoughts about you,

Admitting it didn't get me far,

so with what i have, i run back to start,

turn away from the blisters of my heart.

I won't sleep,

with the lights on,

the rejection i've endured,

but the best is to know that i've been cured.

semiquaver, quaver, chrochet,

count the beats as you please,

but i dare you not,

speak as loud as my heart.

I have had thoughts about you,

thoughts that are now the past,

of something that i knew,

that would never last.

I'm running free,

catch me loose,

I'm racing back to start,

turn away from blisters of my heart 

haha that was random. Well yeah, I hope all is good from everyone. Tag Tag Tag! 

/major 2nd, perfect 4th.